DoS Rant#1 “How I began writing.”

Hey everyone, sorry for the long time without posting anything.  I’ve been moving to a new town to start a new job.  Not one I’m pleased about, but we all have to eat, ne?  Since I haven’t been posting much to the site, I figured that all you people out there reading this might want some sort of explanation, along with something to think about. =D

Well, some of you guys have asked me before how I got started in this sort of thing, or even had the impetus to do so.  Looking back, I suppose there was no great trigger for me to start writing in the first place.  I was always an awkward kid, and never ran on the same wavelength of those around me.  To make a long story short, that kind of environment over several years in my youth drove me to live more and more inside my own head.  It started with the kind of things all kids do:  daydream.  Even while I was in school, I found that most schoolwork came very easy to me, far easier than many of my peers, so I spent the time when I was bored inside my own head.  These simple daydreams of a simple child eventually developed into real stories, much as the ones I work on now, though obviously the stories themselves were simplistic at first, as I was a child when I started doing this.  Though probably by the time I entered high school, the simplistic short stories had evolved into full-blown movies rolling in my head, much as how I see my stories now.  Even as my grades began to slide somewhat in high school from my lack of effort, my stories only grew in their complexity, and I spent much of my free time creating new ones.  Even after I got my driver’s license, I rarely felt the want to drive, because time sitting in a car was time for me to think up a new story, or work on an old one.  Introversion of that short has its major drawbacks, though, obviously, as I rarely interacted with most of the people in my high school, nor did I understand them (or really want to).  Part of me always wanted to be part of those groups, but the deeper my thinking grew, the more I thought the things they did were foolish and childish, which sometimes they were, sometimes they weren’t.  Was I stuck up? …Probably not.  I’ve rarely of thought myself as that much greater than anyone else (I made it a personal mission to try to keep my view of myself humble), though I always have wanted to think of myself as different.  As with all people in general, especially the truly creative souls, no one wants to think of him or herself simply as a cog in the system.  And for those few meglomanical enough, to think of themselves as greater than the system itself, which I’ve been guilty of from time to time.  About midway through high school, a girl I knew (and still know) from Madrid, Spain, along with a few of her friends knew of my skill with stories, and asked that I create at least a good scene for her and her friends, which the two stories I posted on here were created for that reason.  They loved sappy romances, and those happen to be rather easy for me to write, so I complied and churned out those scenes in about 15 minutes.  It was only until my senior year of high school did I truly feel the impetus to begin writing earnestly.  The year had been terrible on me, and I needed an outlet to release my frustration, so one day, I began writing.  About a week later I had written about 40-50 pages worth of my first novel, “The Darkness Within”.  I had a small group of people read it, entirely online friends I had, and with each chapter I released, they nagged me to add their own various touch to the story, which ended up horribly skewing it.  I still managed to get a lot of my original story across, but it became garbled in all the tidbits the readers had forced me to put in.  I never ended up finishing it, and I still have it, hovering at a chapter in the 20’s, though I can’t remember exactly at the moment.  Perhaps one day I’ll edit it properly so that I can finish it, but who knows.  The parts that were finished were actually rather much worth a read, to my readers and myself.  It was full of both dramatic and gut-bustingly funny parts, ones that made at least one reader fall from his chair, literally.  Maybe one day I’ll put it up here.  Anyways, after that, I quickly entered college, which then I realized my real flaw:  lack of focus, and lack of goals.  I suppose that’s the best way to word it.  I’m good at a number of different areas, math, English (writing especially), business, philosophy, and even some forms of art and music.  But because I was in so many things, I never got to the top of any of them.  As they say a jack-of-all-trades, but master of none.  Thus my four years at college were spent flopping from one major to another, in search of something that would actually keep my attention, and become a true career for me.  Despite my creative nature, creative degrees were furthest from my mind, especially because of my parents.  They were paying for much of my degree, and to them the only future lay in ‘solid’ fields; ones involved math, chemistry, accounting, and the like.  In short, majors like engineering, chemistry, math, criminal justice, accounting, business, etc.  And due to their influence, I ended up with a major that in reality, I didn’t want, Business Administration, but even so, I took the creative route: a Business Admin degree, but the major itself was actually Entrepreneurial Business.  I had the skill to work in that field, but I forgot the true key element of that field that I lacked:  people skills.  I’m good at working with people singularly, or even speaking, but only on occasion, not in a way that I could do it every day.  When I deliver individual speeches and presentations, people are generally impressed with what I can do.  When they have to spend every day around me, not so much.  So I ended up graduating with a BSBA degree, and found myself wondering the classic post-collegiate question:  What do I do from here?  And to tell you the truth, I still don’t know.  I found a job here in a fairly big city, though I suppose I shouldn’t name it, and it’s a decent job that pays fairly well, but not something I want to do forever.  It is only now that I realize that a potential skill of mine, one I could possibly make a living from and actually enjoy has been in my mind the whole time:  writing.  I’ve been creating stories for myself for so long, so I thought that it’d be a great opportunity to try to share them with others.  After all, creating characters, stories and worlds is my true passion.  I practically get Goosebumps when I get to write a good scene that I really enjoy.  But, as they say, the even the bad playwright will laugh at his own play, so I really need to start getting even the drafts I’m working on out to a few more people to evaluate them.  I really, really want every single one of you to be able to read my stories, now and in the future.  The joy would be endless for me to see one of my stories in a bookstore somewhere.  Nothing gives me more pleasure than to see someone enjoying a story that I’ve written, so I hope I can do so for every single one of you out there.  I’ve got a job-job now to make ends meet, but I’ll try my best to make time to continue writing, for myself, and for every one of you wonderful people out there.  I’m gonna try my best to go pro with it, but even if I can’t, so long as I have one die-hard fan, I think that’ll be enough.  I suppose you can thank my drive to do this a lot to you guys especially my ‘siblings’ out there encouraging me, along with the rest of my fans.  Wish me the best guys, and thanks for all your support.


-Koyoto D. Shadow

P.S.    Because of what happened with that first story, I’m gonna try to release my current novel all at once, or at least in significant chunks, so that I don’t have to worry about being pressured to alter it while its in production.  If all goes well, “Rumbling Hearts” will be my first novel full novel posted anywhere, and hopefully my first one published!  Thanks again for all your support!


Quote of the day:  “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.  Personally I feel like a pile of mochi.”


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